"No Kings" Protests Defy GOP Expectations & Jon Gives Trump a Royal Inspection | Sen. Bernie Sanders
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You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Jon Stewart.
Welcome to The Daily Show, ladies and gentlemen. We've got a great show for you tonight. I don't even want to tell you this. Senator Bernard Sanders, Independent Vermont...
I swear to God, I've never seen this before. You announce a guest and a mosh pit forms. You started going on there. You're hearing that, man. If you're watching tonight's program with a billionaire, you might want to get him some headphones because it's about to get all populist up in this bitch. That's for sure. But first, it's exciting news. Believe me, I'm excited as well. We're going to start, though, with the major news from this weekend. New York's annual Halloween dog parade results.
That is not the picture we used in rehearsal. It's a great reminder each year that dogs, like humans, are capable of experiencing humiliation. Perhaps you missed this year's annual dog parade because you remained inside all weekend because you knew if the No Kings protests would be taking place and you heard what that might be like.
We call it the hate America rally. I bet you see pro Hamas supporters. I bet you see Antifa types. I bet you see the Marxist in full display.
This crazy No Kings rally this weekend, which is going to be the farthest left, the hardest core, the most unhinged in the Democratic Party.
What the? Not the hardest core. I expected partial Marxism and hardcore, but not full display, hardest core ha-Marxism. It's going to be like Mad Max out there with Chuck Schumer on flaming guitar.
That's a real photograph. And so this weekend, we sat in our bunkers, doors locked, windows boarded, muskets and cyanide pills at the ready, prepared for whatever the hardest core had in store.
Do your worst. Display your Marxism to its fullest.
An estimated 7 million people gathered across some 2,700 No Kings rallies in cities from coast to coast in what has been described as one of the largest single-day demonstrations in U.S. history.
Not only were they largely peaceful, they were often joyful.
No! No!
Not public domain folk classics. You monsters.
Actually, it was kind of an incredible turnout that was somewhat inspiring. Seven million Americans, zero mass shootings. Zero. That's just sad. No mass shootings. My God. I mean, has that even happened before? Even the dog parade had some nipping. It wasn't a hate America rally at all. I look forward to Republicans apologizing sincerely for implying that these Americans were, what's the word I'm looking for? Deplorable.
This, to me, is a colossal waste of time, and for these people, you wasted your Saturday. It's like a Comic-Con. They have costumes and hashtags. They're silly protesting, and they don't know how dumb they look.
Absurdist costumes. They look silly. They certainly don't look serious.
I knew Antifa. I worked with Antifa. You people are not Antifa. Make up your mind, Fox.
You complained it would be a terrifyingly shit-your-pants protest, and now you are complaining about how boringly un-pants shitting it was. Although there was one nit you picked that really felt off-brand.
The crowd made largely up of what many are saying are gray hairs, boomers. A bunch of boomers.
A lot of older, angry white boomers. It's a sea of white people. It's all old white people. Extra, extra. Extra, extra, read all about it. This country has too many angry old white people. Says, hold on, Fox News. Fox News says, why are old white people so angry? Fox News, mad that there are so many old white people in America.
I don't think Fox News is mad. I think they're jealous. To be fair, to be fair to Fox News, they're kind of right to be dismissive. I mean, imagine a bunch of old white people in costumes angrily protesting the direction and overreach of an ever-encroaching federal government. I mean... Preposterous. That's in no way a movement that could sweep the midterms and then be harnessed by a charismatic demagogue to remake an entire political party.
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Speakers
10 identified
Jon Stewart 16 min
Sen. Bernie Sanders 11 min
Announcer/Host voice (show stage announcer) 4 min
Podcast intro/outro announcer (Comedy Central) 1 min
Bit actor playing 'Congressman' (bit) 1 min
Unknown (audience member/guest bit)
Michael Kosta (bit)
Show/Narration reporter (clip voice)
Unknown
Audience member (shout)
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