E939 Ask Nick - Revenge Dating
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How can I clear my name after a smear campaign?
How did you find out?
I was actually making our wedding invitations and he had signed on to his Google Drive on my computer so I could access the photos that we took in the UK last summer and I came across a screen recording. So then I started looking for more and found a lot more.
A screen recording of what?
It was his college roommate and his wife engaged in intercourse.
He had a video of his college roommate and his college roommate's wife having sex? Yes.
In a lot of different ways. So they would just send him Oh mein Gott. Und dann, als du mehr gelesen hast, was hast du noch gefunden?
Okay, aber was glaubst du? Ja, genau.
Hast du etwas anderes gefunden? Es gab auch andere Dinge in der Vergangenheit, die ich abgelassen habe. Aber alles, was ich gefunden habe, kam von mir heraus. Er hat nichts gefordert.
Also, wenn du ihn mit diesen Videos getroffen hast, hat er sich zu all dem verabschiedet? Oder was war seine Erklärung? He did, yeah.
What did he say? He told me about how they slept together before we met, but he lied about the timeline. He said it was like months before we met, but it was actually like a few days before we did, which that doesn't matter. It's before we met, so it's fine. But then he did admit to sending videos back to them and receiving videos from each of them separately, which he has then deleted. So he said that that never happened now. And that's basically it. So he admitted more the night of before I ended things than he is now.
Okay, wow.
So you confronted him, he admitted to some stuff and then what happened after that?
I called his sister the next day. I was really close with all of his family. I spent a lot of time with all of them because he wouldn't leave me alone. He just kept kind of crying and being sad and trying to guilt me into moving forward. And I needed space to think about it. And so I called his sister and she was kind of like, I gave her bare minimum details, but she said I could come stay with her. And I told him, hey, I'm going to go see with your sister or you need to go stay with your mom. And so those are your two options. So then he left to go stay with his mom.
Okay. And did you communicate with his sister much after that?
I was, but as soon as he got back, it started getting really weird communication from his whole family. And so I was kind of wondering what was going on and what he had actually told them. And so he came back to figure out the least stuff with us with his mom a few days later. And his mom was acting really weird towards me. And so he ended up staying with me that night and a few nights after. So then when he was sleeping, I looked through his phone and found all the bipolar messaging that he was telling everybody.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
How can I clear my name after a smear campaign?
1:42–28:03
2
What should I do if I feel undateable?
28:03–45:36
3
What are the challenges of dating after 40?
45:36–1:23:46
4
How do I cope with a breakup and moving on?
1:23:46–1:39:44
5
What are the signs of a healthy relationship?
1:39:44–1:53:59
6
How should I approach family after a breakup?
1:53:59–2:01:05
Speakers
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