Toni and Ryan

THROWBACK: At Dinner and also in the Bedroom

19 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Jared McQuaig on the mic to co-host today! He's throwing back to a few faves - things you can say at Dinner and also in the Bedroom (the OG!!!) and al...

THROWBACK: In Hospital and in the Bedroom

18 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Day two of our throwback episodes is co-hosted by the WONDERFUL Monique DaRocha - can't believe she stepped off the treadmill tbh! She throws back to ...

THROWBACK: At a Funeral and in the Bedroom

17 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan has COVID so THE BIG WOOT IS HOSTING and throwing it back to Toni and Ryan chatting funerals and bedrooms, and that time Ryan went to jail and no...

Ryan is FLAPPED

13 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You never thought you'd see it - but Ryan is flapped today! We chat about Cruella and we clarify some language we use. Love ya! T xxx Check out our Pa...

Saying Sorry

12 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan's made a fool of himself at the Dentist, and we talk about what gives you the ick! Love ya Toni xxxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Toniand...

On a Cruise and in the Bedroom

11 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Things you can say on a CRUISE and in the bedroom, and HARROWING cheating stories. Love ya!! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan,...

BIG POPCORN

10 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We're talking about conspiracies and BIG POPCORN. Plus your feedback from last week! Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan...

Don't piss off a locksmith

06 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Tradies need to SORT THEIR SHIT OUT!!! Love ya, T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Fin...

Peeing on Christian Hull

05 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Comedian extraordinaire Christian Hull joins us for a verrrrry naughty episode for normal or nah and Grindr gone wrong. Love ya! T xx Check out our Pa...

On the Farm and in the Bedroom

04 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's Tuesday, so we're talking about things we can say on the farm and in the bathroom, and I had to go to the doctor for something VERY Toni and VERY...

We complained to the manager

03 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss DAYLIGHT ROBBERY and I write some letters to the manager, and we read some feedback on last week. Love ya!!! T xx Check out our Patreon at ...

Is Toni cheating?

30 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

My boyfriend confronted me about a suspicious text message, and we talk about The Lion King. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Tonian...

Buying a ringtone

29 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Remember buying ringtones?! Also I had multiple scooters STOLEN from me. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure...

Who's pressing Toni's buttons?

28 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Things you can say at the FOOTBALL and also in the bedroom. Plus something that fucks me off - surprise surprise!!! Love ya Toni x Check out our Patre...

Fabulous Dog VS Audio Queen

27 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Two queens take each other on for the Audio Queen, and some feedback from last week. Love ya!!! T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan...

Do you smell what Laroq is cooking?

23 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The dumbest things you've ever heard and Ryan is a grumpy old man while reviewing Geordie Shore. Love ya! T x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Ton...

Undoing Toni's bra

22 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Taking off bras in a quick fire Normal or Nah and awkward emails. Love ya! T x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you joi...

Ryan's karma

21 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Finally Ryan get's his comeuppance for letting his phone go flat all the fucking time - and we chat about things you can say in SPACE and also in the ...

Don't mention the towel!

21 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan has a favour to ask us all - but I think he deserves it!! Plus an amazing strategy for the next time you invite Ryan over for dinner. Love ya! To...

Ryan's shrinkage

16 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Shrinkage, but not in the way you might think! A muffin top and I explain the plot of the movie TENET. Love ya!!!! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at pa...

Sexy music and Gorilla groans

15 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A great new Normal or Nah and Monique Da Rocha has gone Monique Da Rogue-a!!!! Love ya T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make...

Who gets custody of the dog?

14 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Things you can say to a pirate and Ryan's Radio Tales! Love ya xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Faceboo...

You won't believe it's not law!

13 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Wheels and doors, Australian 'laws' and the FUNNIEST JOKE EVER. Love ya! T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you joi...

The milk of Toni Lodge

09 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Delicious milk, great friendships, testing Toni and the movie 'Friends With Benefits'. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan,...

Pet VS Partner

08 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

TWIN CONSPIRACIES and loving your partner more than your pet. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join o...

Is it too late to Wordle?

07 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We chat about what we've missed the boat on, and things you can say to an Uber driver and also in the bedroom. Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon ...

Thanks for coming... On my face

06 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

An awkward encounter with a neighbour, audio KWEEN and some of your feedback. Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and m...

The best breakups

02 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The right way to break up with someone, and our sliding doors moments in life. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and mak...

Harrowing Haircut

01 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The perfect use of the word harrowing, with the worst date I've ever heard. Love you! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and ma...

How NOT to eat an Apple

28 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How to eat an Apple, Dubbo News and Things you can say at a Pool Party and also in the Bedroom. Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com...

Testing Toni

27 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I don't think I will bother coming in for tomorrow's episode 😂 Love ya! Toni x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you ...

F@#$!% PHYLLIS!

23 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Phyllis from Pennsylvania has had it worse than ANY of us! Love you all (but not Phyllis) T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and ...

Death on a date 💀

22 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

One of the worst things that could happen on a date - a death. And a verrryyyy relatable normal or nah. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon...

How to choose what to have for dinner

21 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Problems of thinking of what to cook for dinner are OVER!! Let us know in our facebook group or at #spotifindmymeal! Love ya! T Check out our Patreon ...

Working with Dizzee Rascal

20 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We try and strike a celebrity deal, a Bagel faux pas and your pork sword feedback. Love ya! T x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and ...

Cosplay at the gas station

16 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We argue about Ryan's top three facts and talk about the DUMBEST FUCKING THINGS you've ever heard. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/...

The Pork Sword

15 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We talk about 'Pork Swords' and gripes with the Post Office. Love ya! T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join o...

The Dessert Police

14 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Things you can say while you're cleaning the house and also in the bedroom, and a pun to overtake all puns!!! Love ya, Toni xx Check out our Patreon a...

Balcony bangers are back

13 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

My neighbours are at it again and they're happy to celebrate Valentines Day. Plus - did I buy Ryan a shit gift or not?! Love ya! T xxx Check out our P...

Purple Headed Womb Ferret 🍆

09 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Empowering each other and our TARPers talking about our weird body quirks, and talking about Zombieland. Love ya!!! T x Check out our Patreon at patre...

The greatest fact EVER!

08 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Showering with your partner, my amazing fact, and a love triangle that we need your advice on! Love ya! T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Ton...

FINALLY in bed together

07 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Thanks to our friends at Ecosa - Ryan and I are finally in bed together! Things you can say while you're online shopping, and also in the bedroom! And...

Don't say this on a date

06 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We don't often give dating advice but this is essential. Plus the audio queen returns and Ryan's lost his wallet but THIS TIME!!! It's not his fault! ...

Who made it weird?

02 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Shockingly, the Thursday ep got weird! Hehe we chat about Inglorious Basterds and open up the Dunn Lodge-isitics Travel Agency. Love ya! T xx Check ou...

Our first kiss 💋

01 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The best normal or nah ever, plus we learn which room the bath should go in, and all about a sexy first kiss. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at p...

Your partner HATES this

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How we like the aircon, and things you can say in THE restaurant and the bedroom! Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, a...

WE'RE BACK BABY!

30 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

She's back on the air with a Covid update and some feedback from last week. Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and ma...

👶 Advice To New Fathers 👶

24 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Toni officially has the spicy cough but the show must go on! Hear about mums who clean, kids asking sex questions and midwives give advice to new fath...

🌶️ The Spicy Cough 🌶️

23 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's finally happened. COVID has made its way into TARP land, Taubsland and the Torberone Empire. When you had the spicy cough, did you crave or buy a...

I thought I was on mute 😬

19 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Your worst Zoom Call not-on-mute stories, and Ryan has accidentally broken his mate's trust. Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/To...

D🍆ck pics in the group chat

18 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We share some of your 'coming out' stories, and ask a normal or nah about group weeing situations. Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.c...

Four weddings and a bedroom

17 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Things you can say at a wedding and in the bedroom, and risking everything for free shipping! Love ya! Toni Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Tonia...

Flashing your colleagues

16 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The moment we've all been waiting for: The final nipple update! And your best condom stories. Love ya! Toni x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Ton...

The towel is 'fine'

12 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

FINALLY - we get to the bottom of the towel that was on Ryan's bottom. Ya love to see it! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, an...

Condoms and a meat pie

11 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Two things I bet your never expected to see in the same sentence - but it might be something that saves your one night stand! Love ya! Toni xxx Check ...

Ryan accidentally shaved 'it'

10 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How can you accidentally shave something, you ask? Ryan has found a way!! Plus things you can say to a Delivery Driver and in the bedroom, and my (Ton...

F😱😱😱ing famous people

09 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I went to call this episode 'sleeping with celebrities' which was a bit more low-key, but we'd already done it 😅 We also chat about some feedback. ...

A rich tapestry of culture

05 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I'm going to talk to you alllll about Aussie culture (?) and Ryan needs to know, who is the BULLY?!?! Love ya! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/To...

Coming out at Christmas

04 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Please tell me you read the title Coming out at Christmas to the tune of 'taaaaking care of business'. Just me? Cool. Normal or Nah and some ruined Ch...

Obnoxious new Toni

03 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Apparently I'm obnoxious now, but in my eyes nothing has changed. Also things you can say in a Library and also in the bedroom! Love ya, T xxx Check o...

The numbers are in!

02 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We promised you all LAST YEAR that we would call Ryan's hairdresser if we hit a certain number of members of our Patreon - and the results are in. Lov...

HR doesn't want j😱zz

29 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You get to meet Comedy Carmody, hear an ATROCIOUS first date from Dr Kelly and a bit of a shit story too. Love ya so much - thanks for all of your sup...

The Loudest Moan

28 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A couple of Normal or Nah's, and the best thing to happen to the bedroom since 1000 thread count sheets: Toni Lodge. Love ya! Check out our Patreon at...

Who wants kids?

27 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Round 2 of Dream chat from me, and things you can say in a supermarket, and also in the bedroom. Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com...

Pre-Paid Anus

26 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Another grooming mishaps story - and my very expensive car wash mistake. Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make ...

Fun in a Float Tank

22 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I've gotten myself into an awkward situation, and Ryan and I exchange our Secret Santa gifts!!! Our last ep before Christmas - so love you all LOADS a...

Stages of Friendship

21 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A question on a stage of friendship that Ryan and I don't even have yet!!!! Also we talk about our movie of the week - Home Alone! Love ya! Toni xxx C...

Pete Davidson: The 8th Wonder of the World

20 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Audio Queen back with my best performance YET - plus what you can say whilst putting up your Christmas Tree and also in the bedroom. Love ya! T xx Che...

Towel update 💩

19 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan told a story of something so FOUL and so CRAZY last week - so I (Toni) read your feedback. Love ya! x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Tonian...

😱 RYAN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?! 😱

15 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There is NO coming back from this one, Ryan. Wow wow wow. Love ya, T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our F...

Chatroom romance 🔥

14 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We hear about dirt from Disneyland straight from the horse's mouth, we have another round of Normal or Nah, and some more MSN Messenger Mishaps. Love ...

Santa comes once a year 😏

13 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Things you can say to Santa and in the bedroom, Ryan has another round of 'who's the jerk?' and I have a nipple update. Love ya! T x Check out our Pat...

Rough and Ready!

12 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I (Toni) need your advice on what to take to a family Christmas, we cover when to return a gift, and we explain Lara's Bingle. Love ya T xxx Check out...

Porkin' Peter Pan

08 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Workplace Secret Santa, Shrek 2, and another dirty Disneyland story. Love ya! T x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you ...

Meet Toni's Finance Team

07 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What started as an innocent Normal or Nah, has turned into a true sledge-fest. We also talk about our new friend Sunny and her hobbies, and workplace ...

Lara Bingle!

06 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Things you can say on the Golf Course and in the Bedroom, I get yelled at by a waiter, and LARA BINGLE. Love ya! T x Check out our Patreon at patreon....

Sex with listeners

05 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan has been up to no good with listeners, and I tackle another round of Audio Queen! Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan,...

Ryan Ridin' Dirty

01 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan's wearing a G-String, and we FINALLY watched American Psycho! We also chat with our #1 TARPer Trilby! Love ya! T x Learn more about your ad choic...

Normal or Nah: Your partner's ☎️

30 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you remember important phone numbers, or rely on your iPhone?! And I have a chicken based apology. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.c...

Spit or Swallow... at the Dentist

29 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Things you can say at the Dentist and also in the Bedroom, I need to talk about my nipples, and I owe a listener an apology. Love you! T x Check out o...

Crotchless Underwear Caution

28 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

My laugh's alter-ego Mr Wheezy is back after this round of Internet Mishaps, and something terrible happened to me when I tried to train for our runni...

Who's the Jerk?

24 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan is an absolute TURKEY as asks me who I think is a jerk out of him and someone else... (it will always be him) WE ALSOOOOO talked about The Dark K...

A😱N😱L in the kitchen?!?!

23 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A misleading title that you would have seen coming if you listened to the last two episodes. Crushing boxes and built in underwear - plus we have agre...

Storming Out of a Restaurant

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We all know how incredibly awkward it can be when you're at a restaurant and you're not super jazzed with the vibe... but would you do what Ryan did?!...

Dirty in DisneyLand

21 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You won't beliiieevveeee what I did in Disneyland! Am I headed straight to PRISON?!?!?! Love you! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, an...

Come Over for a Flog

17 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Happy FOURTH EPISODE OF THE WEEK! How are we possibly doing it?! Very sexy and verryyyyyy cool. Reviews of She's The Man, Ryan stitching up a housemat...

The Family Spew Bowl

16 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Please don't lie to us and say this isn't normal, because we know you had one too!!! Another round of Normal or Nah coming your way - and make sure yo...

The WORST WAY to Shop Online

15 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I'm feeling very attacked here, but I'm worried it might be valid! Alsoooo things you can say as a cop and also in the bedroom. Love u Check out our P...

Squirting in an Uber

14 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Something terrible happened to me (Toni) in the back of an Uber - and I'm being tested on my knowledge of other countries AGAIN. Love ya! Check out ou...

Eye Masks & Parenting Experience

09 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I'm making TWO bold claims today - please support me! Hehehe love ya x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Fa...

Sexy Balconies & The Notebook

08 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan has really thrown me under the bus here. We chat about sexy balconies, things you can say on a Plane and also in the Bedroom - and we talk about ...

Poetry from the Heart

07 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan has written a beautiful poem for us - and we also have some feedback and Audio Queen Round 2. Love ya! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Tonia...

Ryan's Real Estate Rant

02 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan HATES something he's seen in houses and he needs to get it off his chest! And I have to complain about something too. Shocker. Love you so much!!...

Flushing the Toilet & Easy A

01 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I've realised I do something that affects the household, and we talk about things you can say in the Gym and the Bedroom. Love you! Check out our Patr...

The Audio QUEEN

31 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Now I know YOU know that I (Toni) write these descriptions, so the title seems reaaalllllyyyy self indulgent but JUST. YOU. WAIT. We also talk about b...

BONUS: It's HaloweeEeeEEeEEen Week!

27 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Or as someone messaged me on Instagram.... Halloweek. Sorry for losing my touch so early in the game. We chat Halloween Pickup Lines, Halloween in Aus...

Manscaping Mishaps

26 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We hear your BEST home-grooming mishaps and I need to know how far is too far to go for your partner. Love ya Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Ton...

WE VS THE WORLD

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Engagement rings, quizzes and things you can say in the car, and also in the bedroom. Love ya Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and ma...

Socks in the Bedroom

24 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ryan wants to know about how we all feel about socks in the boudoir, and I have a stigma to break with us Melburnians coming out of lockdown FINALLY. ...

A Life-Changing Phonecall

19 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How to NOT act in a massage, a bad first date, and maybe a career change for little old me...? Love ya!!! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Toniand...