Chatabix

S13 Ep 707: The Inspector Lynley Mark Bonnar Preamble Pt 2

25 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Following on from yesterday’s episode - and in preparation for their upcoming chat with Mark Bonnar about it - here’s yet more analysis of David’...

S13 Ep 706: The Inspector Lynley Mark Bonnar Preamble Pt 1

24 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s recently come to light that the wonderful actor Mark Bonnar appeared alongside David in his infamous Inspector Lynley Mysteries scene. So Joe, ...

S13 Ep 705: The Old Man on Dartmoor and Celebrating London

23 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David kicks things off by telling Joe about the lovely old man he met walking on Dartmoor the other day. But also how the man thought David was about ...

S13 Ep 704 Vault Mondays: Deleted Files and Believe

22 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

An archive show for the Chatabix diehards out there. In this one, the recording went wrong and so we got ready for work whilst playing a song called B...

S13 Ep 703 Listener’s Mailbag: A Cross Cleaner and Bus Driver Quips

19 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s Mailbag we have messages about a Chatabiscuit boyfriend, lots more funny names, getting told off by a no-nonsense cleaner at work, cheeky...

S13 Ep 702: Reading Out Our Spotify Reviews

18 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Well this episode does exactly what it says on the tin. After a message about them from one of our Patreons, David’s decided he wants to use today’...

S13 Ep 701: Filming Nerves and Grand Designs

17 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There’s lots to get through on today’s jam-packed episode. Firstly, Joe and David are starting filming on a new project tomorrow and David’s beg...

S13 Ep 700: More House Viewings and Not Being Ladish

16 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s been up to his sneaky house-viewing tricks again - and this time, he and Naomi loved the house and also the old couple who owned it. So Joe ...

S13 Ep 699 Vault Mondays: On Set and On a Train

15 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s archive show, we chat about David's weight, being on the set of Afterlife, The Cockfields, Joe's ADR session, Celebrity Big Brother 2005,...

S13 Ep 698 Listeners Mailbag: Dog Walkers and Groom’s Speeches

12 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Friday, so it’s gotta be Mailbag time. And this week we read messages about an inconveniently named sex shop, some love from Switzerland, a v...

S13 Ep 697: TV Joe’s Mastermind Quiz

11 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

TV Joe is back with another of his superb quizzes - and this time it’s a Chatabix version of Mastermind. But before he puts David and Joe through th...

WWF CHARITY NIGHT IN SUSSEX

10 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

My friend has organised this event to support the World Wildlife Fund in its efforts to create Ocean Sanctuaries. £25 a ticket and it all goes to ...

S13 Ep 696: A 3 pack of assorted high-waisted briefs

10 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Huge Chatabix news - Joe has started wearing Y-fronts instead of boxers. So for the first part of today’s show, him and David discuss that and then ...

S13 Ep 695 One In A Million: A Casino Win And A Shop Fire

09 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After the success of our recent episode reading out listener’s One In A Million stories - it’s time to do it again. So, a little unsure as to whet...

S13 Ep 694 Vault Monday: Our New TV Reviewer and The New Telly Addicts Game

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this landmark episode from the Chatabix archives, which features the very first appearance of TV Joe, we chat about a Zoom link, why Joe is feeling...

S13 Ep 693 Listeners Mailbag: Haunted Pubs and a Chatabiscuit Dream

05 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Delving into our listener's mailbag once again, first we read a slightly annoying ’no I haven’t’ message, then answer emails about a spooky nigh...

S13 Ep 692: Knocking On Doors Again

04 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We kick off today’s show with more health and fitness chat - mainly about the mileage David does on his Peloton and the salad he had for lunch yeste...

S13 Ep 691: Joe’s Saliva Jet and Justin Hawkins Body

03 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

For today’s topics of conversation, Joe suggests the strange jet of saliva that comes out of his mouth occasionally and an idea about opening a pict...

S13 Ep 690: One In A Million

02 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Following Joe’s recent story about the girl he saw on Brighton beach appearing in the newspaper the following day and his idea to find more ‘one i...

S13 Ep 689 Vault Mondays: Driving Down To London

01 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe rings David for a chat whilst David is driving from Wales to London - Audio is poor, but give us a break. First posted on 19th April 2021 FOR AL...

S13 Ep 688 Listeners Mailbag: A Hotbox and A Tool Quiz

29 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for more of our listener’s emails. And on this week’s show, we have a career advisers inappropriate response to a funny name, a superb...

S13 Ep 687: Bond Girls and Jersey Flights

28 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s mum has just re-connected with an old friend of hers, whom Joe is very keen to tell David about. It turns out she was as Bond Girl in the 80’...

S13 Ep 686: Joe’s Two ‘Manic Energy’ Stories

27 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David had two double expressos before starting today’s pod, so who knows where this one’s gonna go?! But once Joe's calmed him down a bit, he star...

S13 Ep 685: David Gets His Car MOT’d

26 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s off to get his car MOT’d this morning - so what better time to do some podding. We join David in his car driving to Exeter whist Joe’s a...

S13 Ep 684 Vault Mondays: Great Bodies and Twitter

25 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Vault episode time - and this week we’re talking about great bodies, and, mainly, why we tweet. First posted on 24th May 2022 FOR ALL THINGS CHATA...

S13 Ep 683 Listeners Mailbag: Totally Distracted and A Funhouse Audition

22 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Before the guys have a chance to get started with today’s Mailbag, they get totally distracted by a photo sent in from a listener of Joe at the Prid...

S13 Ep 682: Skateboarder Joe and The Terrorism Police

21 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe had a recent vigilante incident involving some teenage skateboarders that he really wants to tell David about. But before he can do that, David is...

S13 Ep 681: David’s Exercises and Joe’s Meatball Recipe

20 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s been settling in to a new exercise routine over the past few months, which he does with a personal trainer both in person and online. So he ...

S13 Ep 680: Joe’s Kevin McCloud Type Jackets

19 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe has two Kevin McCloud type artists jackets which are a little out of his comfort zone - but he’s been wearing them a lot recently and now feels ...

S13 Ep 679 Vault Mondays: Richard Webster - Kick Start Competitor, 1985

18 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a great 80’s TV show themed vault ep today as we chat to Richard Webster - a Kick Start competitor from 1985. First posted on 7th March 2022...

S13 Ep 678 Listener’s Mailbag: Stretford Paddock and MMU Massages

15 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s another great mailbag this weeks as we read messages about some Chatabix fans at the Stretford Paddock Man U YouTube channel, an embarrassing q...

S13 Ep 677: Canal Georgie Returns

14 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Our resident canal boat living Chatabiscuit Georgie is back on the pod to tell David and Joe more glorious tales from the towpath. And as it’s the h...

S13 Ep 676: Grumpy David and Joe at the Pride Parade

13 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a grumpy David at the start of today’s show as he’s just found out his Peloton is broken and hasn’t been able to exercise this morning. S...

S13 Ep 675: A Mevagissey Morning and Retirement Plans

12 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Following his recent holiday in Cornwall, David wants to spend today’s show recounting a magical morning he had whilst staying in the small fishing ...

S13 Ep 674 Vault Mondays: Reading Out Cockfield Comments on Facebook and Pantomime Opportunities

11 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On this week’s vault show, we talk about running, read out shit comments and then talk about a possible pantomime opportunity. First posted on 10th...

S13 Ep 673 Listeners Mailbag: School Bands and David’s Wire Mill Gig

08 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On this week’s show, there’s emails about a rather out of date weatherman audition, a shite old school band, a long detour from David telling Joe ...

S13 Ep 672: Summer Quip Special!

07 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

That’s right you lucky listeners, for this very special episode Joe and David bring you a whole show dedicated to the finest quips that money can bu...

S13 Ep 671: David’s Away and Joe’s in an Egg Chair

06 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Since moving house and recording in a new room, Joe’s sound quality for the pod really hasn’t been great. So for this episode, he’s sitting in a...

S13 Ep 670: David’s Second Incredible Fire Story

05 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s away again and guess what, he’s back in his car to record today’s pod. And after a little talking in French and chatting about going to se...

S13 Ep 669 Vault Mondays: The Day David Was Crap On The Inspector Linley Mysteries

04 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s another episode from the Chata-vaults and in this one, we chat about David's appalling acting in The Inspector Lynley Mysteries First posted o...

S13 Ep 668 Listeners Mailbag: Funny Names and Spotting Swingers

01 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, there’s messages about penpals, favourite comical names, quipping when very tired, a knitting Chatabiscuit, spotting the signs of...

S13 Ep 667: David Calls The Fire Brigade

31 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Late the other night, David noticed a very strange burning smell in his lounge. Perplexed at where it was coming from and concerned for his family’s...

S13 Ep 666: Joe’s Brand New Home Pt 2

30 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Following on from the previous episode, we return to Joe’s house-moving tales after he’s just discovered he’s got the bin day wrong - one of the...

S13 Ep 665: Joe’s Brand New Home Pt 1

29 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You’ll never guess - Joe has just moved house! So him and Petra are now happily unpacking, getting comfortable in their new home and exploring the n...

S13 Ep 664 Vault Mondays: Feeling Thick and Bed Bases

28 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Time for another repeat of a golden oldie episode. And in this one, the lads chat about feeling really thick all their life and then David tells Joe a...

S13 Ep 663 Listeners Mailbag: One Night Stands and A Quip Rampage

25 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this weeks mailbag we read messages about Cliff Richard’s Wired For Sound, meeting Alan Carr, an embarrassing one night stand, a non-farting mass...

S13 Ep 662: Prank Videos & Through The Keyhole

24 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We kick off today’s episode with some more discussion about Joe’s letter being read out on the Stick To Football pod and David’s continuing tumm...

S13 Ep 661: Joe’s Boisterous Scaffolders

23 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

As Joe and Petra’s house had a leak in its roof, they’d recently arranged for scaffolding to be put up for repairs to be done. The only problem wa...

S13 Ep 660: Property TV and Tour Shows

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s still away and in his car again to record the pod. And once David’s had a little worry about his behaviour on yesterday’s episode, Joe exp...

S13 Ep 659 Vault Mondays: Working Out Our Roles On The Podcast

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for an old episode repeat - and in this one, we chatted about the imbalance of our roles. First posted on 31st May 2022 FOR ALL THINGS C...

S13 Ep 658 Listener’s Mailbag: Snake Catchers and True Crime Pods

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Friday everyone! And on today's show, pulled from our mailbag are messages about a shower room quip, a snake catcher (and a phone call to him in...

S13 Ep 657: A See-Through Blouse and The Town Game

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s packed episode, there’s chat about Joe being away (and podding from his car), yet more tummy troubles, a lady in a see-through blouse t...

S13 Ep 656 Vault Mondays: Blackadder Impressions and Going Quiet

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this old show from way back in 2021, David does impressions of Rick Mayall and then loses motivation again. First posted on 8th December 2021 FOR...

S13 Ep 655 Listener’s Mailbag: Animal Songs and Cranleigh Celebs

11 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Friday - so it must be Mailbag time! And this week we’ve massage about early retirement, David’s bum, a song about animals from 2021, a gre...

S13 Ep 654: Being Frosty and Very Busy Pubs

10 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s builders have broken a light, so before recording the pod he gave them the frosty treatment when they arrived to fix it. Well, sort of - becau...

S13 Ep 653: Tummy Trouble and Young Crushes

09 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s feeling a little off today and thinks he might be getting some tummy trouble. So Joe takes the conversational lead and tells him about wanti...

S13 Ep 652: Joe At The Beach And The Stick Incident

08 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

To kick today’s episode off, Joe’s gone down to the beach for a swim. So David joins him there on Zoom and gives us a running commentary about how...

S13 Ep 651 Vault Mondays: Battle Of The Bands and Mid Life Crisis

07 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We chat about the kettle, David attempting to write songs, the battle of the bands, Joe's childhood and Travis Perkins. First posted on 27th July 202...

S13 Ep 650 Listener’s Mailbag: Billy Ocean and Wacaday

04 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’ve got messages about cold-call house viewings, doing drugs (which sends Joe off on one), a Billy Ocean concert, more gardeners and we...

S13 Ep 649: David’s Cricket Story (Part B) and Joe’s Footie Try-Outs

03 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

So here it is, the conclusion of David’s wonderful story about the summer in his teens when he played cricket for Sussex. We pick things up with him...

S13 Ep 648: Celebrating The Pod and David’s Cricket Story (Part A)

02 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Joe wants to celebrate their podcast. So him and David both count their blessings about how much they enjoy doing it and come up wi...

S13 Ep 647: Crunch Crunches and Opening A Clothes Shop

01 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Amongst the very varied subjects on today’s show, Joe and David discuss smoking weed (again), going to the Queens tennis tournament, getting some lo...

S13 Ep 646 Vault Mondays: Gravestones and Sniffing

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Straight from the Chatavaults - and in this one, David chats about the Beach Bomber and Joe chats about gas. First posted on 3rd October 2022 FOR AL...

S13 Ep 645 Listener’s Mailbag: Dog Fouling and a Top Tier Quip

27 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

From this weeks mailbag, we read messages about Jasper Carrot, Rod Stewart and Henry Coopers brothers, a Diet Coke warning, some dog fouling - which l...

S13 Ep 644 - EMERGENCY - Joe's Email Is Read Out On Stick To Football Podcast

26 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe and David get together to react to the news that Joe's email was read out today on the STICK TO FOOTBALL podcast - and they're beside themselves. ...

S13 Ep 643: Reunion Debrief and Shiatsu Massage

26 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe recently went to the reunion with his office pals who he worked with in Surrey in the late 90’s, which he spoke about on the pod a few weeks ago...

S13 Ep 642: TV Joe’s Name That TV Theme Tune

25 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

TV Joe is back with a brand new quiz. Well, it’s actually an old one but with a lovely television twist - Names That Tune for 90’s TV theme tunes....

S13 Ep 641: Home Alone And The Craft Fair Affair

24 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s wife Naomi is going away for six days, leaving David to look after the kids and home all on his own. It’s not something he’s particularl...

S13 Ep 640 Vault Mondays: Gas

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Straight from the Chatavaults - and in this one, David chats about the Beach Bomber and Joe chats about gas. First posted on 3rd October 2022 FOR AL...

S13 Ep 639 Listener’s Mailbag: Celeb Meets and Teaching Podding

20 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Time to reach into the Chatabix Mailbag again. And this time, David and Joe read messages about an encounter with a cheeky celebrity, teaching podcast...

S13 Ep 638: Majorca Part B

19 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, David is whisking us back to Majorca to tell us more about his lovely holidays there at the all-inclusive hotel resort. And he’s go...

S13 Ep 637: Rob Beckett Returns

18 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a return visit to Chatabix for the wonderful Rob Beckett, who first joined us on the pod way back in 2022. And this time, David and Joe have lo...

S13 Ep 636: Early Starts and A Squashed Flight To Majorca

17 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Over the past few months, David’s been getting up at 5 am to start working and wants to tell Joe about how much he’s been loving it. So much so, h...

S13 Ep 635 Vault Mondays: Widecombe In The Moor

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this archive episode, David takes Joe for a journey up to Widecombe In The Moor. Wild horses, old ramblers and cream teas. First posted on 18th No...

S13 Ep 634 Listener’s Mailbag: Old Bands and A Quick Quip

13 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s mailbag, David and Joe read a message about a friend’s old band called The Leading Edge, who played with Tears For Fear in the 80’...

S13 Ep 633: Joe’s Old Work Photos

12 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s going to a reunion with some of his very old pals from an office he worked at in Surrey in the late 90’s. And before they all meet, one of t...

S13 Ep 632: What’s It Like To Have A Hangover?

11 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David was on the Gin & Tonics last night watching the football with his family and now has a pretty bad hangover to deal with. So it’s anyone’s gu...

S13 Ep 631: Sneaky House Viewings

10 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David and his wife Naomi have recently done some sneaky viewings of homes for sale just by knocking on the door and having a chat with the owners. The...

S13 Ep 630 Vault Mondays: Paul Heaton Working In Redhill and Struggling

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Vault episode time! In this episode we talk about Joe morphing into his Dad, Paul Heaton working in Redhill, David struggling with Vodafone and a shit...

S13 Ep 629 Listeners Mailbag: Armando and A Portable Ashtray

06 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we read messages about a Crunch Crunch opportunity with Armando Iannucci, appropriate farts, a portable ashtray user, Fuck The Suits, Laure...

S13 Ep 628: Mersea Island vs Wild Camping

05 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a quick chat about helping out around the house more, Joe wants to talk to David about the TV crime documentary he watched last night, which was...

S12 Ep 627: All-Inclusive Holidays and Whispering

04 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s considering an all-inclusive summer holiday for him and his family this year. But he’s really not too sure about it and wants to get Joe’...

S12 Ep 626: Volunteering and Being A Prat

03 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s starting some volunteering work which involves a bit of running, so he tells David about that. He’s also wondering if a friend of his thinks...

S12 Ep 625 Vault Mondays: Guest - Goldie

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

That’s right, it’s a special guest vault episode - Goldie joins David and Joe to chat about Buckingham Palace's gravel and banana cake. First pos...

S12 Ep 624 Listener’s Mailbag: Gardeners And Magicians

30 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Amongst this weeks messages, we hear from a happy gardener in The Isle of Man, a magician at a speed-awareness course, send a birthday message to a Sw...

S12 Ep 623: David’s Clapham Wood Challenge

29 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Following Joe’s failed attempt to ride Hyperia at Thorpe Park, David wants to convince Joe that visiting haunted woods and castles are just as scary...

S12 Ep 622: The Rotten Cherry

28 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In the previous episode, David and Joe promised you an extra ‘cherry-on-top’ for their Thorpe Park Hyperia Roller Coaster ride debrief. So here it...

S12 Ep 621: Thorpe Park Debrief

27 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The day of Joe’s long awaited trip to Thorpe Park has finally arrived and he's made his way there to ride the dreaded Hyperia - Britain’s tallest ...

S12 Ep 620 Vault Mondays: A Day In The Life Of Polperro Joe

26 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time to revisit another old Chatabix episode. And in this one, as Joe lived in Polperro for 4 months, he tells David about his perfect day ther...

S12 Ep 619 Listener’s Mailbag: A Letter From Oz and Pot Smokers

23 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Mailbag time! And Joe kicks off the show with a very special letter from a Chatabix listener in Australia about Ronnie Barker. That’s followe...

S12 Ep 618: TV Joe’s Straight Road Of Fibs Quiz

22 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s about that time for some more TV Joe - and for this episode he’s brought a brand new quiz with him. Essentially, it’s a copy of the Bridge ...

S12 Ep 617: David At The Gym and The Gladiators

21 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After joining the gym a while back, David’s finally started using it and Joe wants to know how he’s getting on. As you might expect, David’s a l...

S12 Ep 616: The Countdown Set and Listing Celebrity Sightings

20 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s still in Manchester, filming for Cats Does Countdown. So in this episode, David tries to get Joe to tell him about the famous Countdown set an...

S12 Ep 615 Vault Mondays: In The Army Now and No Pubes

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A golden oldie from the archives - David and Joe chat about Status Quo's In The Army Now and then David tells Joe about a girl he fell in love with at...

S12 Ep 614: Saying Hi To Colin Jackson

15 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s been filming in Manchester for the past few days and with so much going on there, he wants to use today’s episode to tell David everything t...

S12 Ep 613: Charlie Fish

14 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David bough £55 of fish from a door-to-door salesman last night. And even though he found the fella very trustworthy and also took his telephone numb...

S12 Ep 612: Joe on the Chris Moyles Show

13 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a couple of frustrating minutes texting about things they can’t talk about on the pod, David asks Joe about his recent appearance on the Chris...

S12 Ep 611 Vault Mondays: Ben Rufus Green and an old copy of Playboy

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Chata-vaults time! And apologies in advance as the audio is pretty ropey on this one. Friend of the pod Ben Rufus Green pops on and chats about his ne...

S12 Ep 610: Giving Up Five-A-Side and His & Hers Training

08 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a tough evening at his five-a-side footie match last night, Joe’s again wondering if it’s time to hang up his boots. Is it all now too physi...

S12 Ep 609: Feeling Low and Doing Scouse Accents

07 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s in a bit of a mood this morning and feeling pretty low. So to cheer him up, Joe tells him about the great time he had recently at a Comic Re...