Chatabix

S13 Ep 661: Joe’s Boisterous Scaffolders

23 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

As Joe and Petra’s house had a leak in its roof, they’d recently arranged for scaffolding to be put up for repairs to be done. The only problem wa...

S13 Ep 660: Property TV and Tour Shows

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s still away and in his car again to record the pod. And once David’s had a little worry about his behaviour on yesterday’s episode, Joe exp...

S13 Ep 659 Vault Mondays: Working Out Our Roles On The Podcast

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for an old episode repeat - and in this one, we chatted about the imbalance of our roles. First posted on 31st May 2022 FOR ALL THINGS C...

S13 Ep 658 Listener’s Mailbag: Snake Catchers and True Crime Pods

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Friday everyone! And on today's show, pulled from our mailbag are messages about a shower room quip, a snake catcher (and a phone call to him in...

S13 Ep 657: A See-Through Blouse and The Town Game

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s packed episode, there’s chat about Joe being away (and podding from his car), yet more tummy troubles, a lady in a see-through blouse t...

S13 Ep 656 Vault Mondays: Blackadder Impressions and Going Quiet

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this old show from way back in 2021, David does impressions of Rick Mayall and then loses motivation again. First posted on 8th December 2021 FOR...

S13 Ep 655 Listener’s Mailbag: Animal Songs and Cranleigh Celebs

11 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Friday - so it must be Mailbag time! And this week we’ve massage about early retirement, David’s bum, a song about animals from 2021, a gre...

S13 Ep 654: Being Frosty and Very Busy Pubs

10 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s builders have broken a light, so before recording the pod he gave them the frosty treatment when they arrived to fix it. Well, sort of - becau...

S13 Ep 653: Tummy Trouble and Young Crushes

09 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s feeling a little off today and thinks he might be getting some tummy trouble. So Joe takes the conversational lead and tells him about wanti...

S13 Ep 652: Joe At The Beach And The Stick Incident

08 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

To kick today’s episode off, Joe’s gone down to the beach for a swim. So David joins him there on Zoom and gives us a running commentary about how...

S13 Ep 651 Vault Mondays: Battle Of The Bands and Mid Life Crisis

07 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We chat about the kettle, David attempting to write songs, the battle of the bands, Joe's childhood and Travis Perkins. First posted on 27th July 202...

S13 Ep 650 Listener’s Mailbag: Billy Ocean and Wacaday

04 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’ve got messages about cold-call house viewings, doing drugs (which sends Joe off on one), a Billy Ocean concert, more gardeners and we...

S13 Ep 649: David’s Cricket Story (Part B) and Joe’s Footie Try-Outs

03 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

So here it is, the conclusion of David’s wonderful story about the summer in his teens when he played cricket for Sussex. We pick things up with him...

S13 Ep 648: Celebrating The Pod and David’s Cricket Story (Part A)

02 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Joe wants to celebrate their podcast. So him and David both count their blessings about how much they enjoy doing it and come up wi...

S13 Ep 647: Crunch Crunches and Opening A Clothes Shop

01 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Amongst the very varied subjects on today’s show, Joe and David discuss smoking weed (again), going to the Queens tennis tournament, getting some lo...

S13 Ep 646 Vault Mondays: Gravestones and Sniffing

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Straight from the Chatavaults - and in this one, David chats about the Beach Bomber and Joe chats about gas. First posted on 3rd October 2022 FOR AL...

S13 Ep 645 Listener’s Mailbag: Dog Fouling and a Top Tier Quip

27 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

From this weeks mailbag, we read messages about Jasper Carrot, Rod Stewart and Henry Coopers brothers, a Diet Coke warning, some dog fouling - which l...

S13 Ep 644 - EMERGENCY - Joe's Email Is Read Out On Stick To Football Podcast

26 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe and David get together to react to the news that Joe's email was read out today on the STICK TO FOOTBALL podcast - and they're beside themselves. ...

S13 Ep 643: Reunion Debrief and Shiatsu Massage

26 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe recently went to the reunion with his office pals who he worked with in Surrey in the late 90’s, which he spoke about on the pod a few weeks ago...

S13 Ep 642: TV Joe’s Name That TV Theme Tune

25 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

TV Joe is back with a brand new quiz. Well, it’s actually an old one but with a lovely television twist - Names That Tune for 90’s TV theme tunes....

S13 Ep 641: Home Alone And The Craft Fair Affair

24 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s wife Naomi is going away for six days, leaving David to look after the kids and home all on his own. It’s not something he’s particularl...

S13 Ep 640 Vault Mondays: Gas

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Straight from the Chatavaults - and in this one, David chats about the Beach Bomber and Joe chats about gas. First posted on 3rd October 2022 FOR AL...

S13 Ep 639 Listener’s Mailbag: Celeb Meets and Teaching Podding

20 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Time to reach into the Chatabix Mailbag again. And this time, David and Joe read messages about an encounter with a cheeky celebrity, teaching podcast...

S13 Ep 638: Majorca Part B

19 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, David is whisking us back to Majorca to tell us more about his lovely holidays there at the all-inclusive hotel resort. And he’s go...

S13 Ep 637: Rob Beckett Returns

18 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a return visit to Chatabix for the wonderful Rob Beckett, who first joined us on the pod way back in 2022. And this time, David and Joe have lo...

S13 Ep 636: Early Starts and A Squashed Flight To Majorca

17 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Over the past few months, David’s been getting up at 5 am to start working and wants to tell Joe about how much he’s been loving it. So much so, h...

S13 Ep 635 Vault Mondays: Widecombe In The Moor

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this archive episode, David takes Joe for a journey up to Widecombe In The Moor. Wild horses, old ramblers and cream teas. First posted on 18th No...

S13 Ep 634 Listener’s Mailbag: Old Bands and A Quick Quip

13 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s mailbag, David and Joe read a message about a friend’s old band called The Leading Edge, who played with Tears For Fear in the 80’...

S13 Ep 633: Joe’s Old Work Photos

12 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s going to a reunion with some of his very old pals from an office he worked at in Surrey in the late 90’s. And before they all meet, one of t...

S13 Ep 632: What’s It Like To Have A Hangover?

11 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David was on the Gin & Tonics last night watching the football with his family and now has a pretty bad hangover to deal with. So it’s anyone’s gu...

S13 Ep 631: Sneaky House Viewings

10 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David and his wife Naomi have recently done some sneaky viewings of homes for sale just by knocking on the door and having a chat with the owners. The...

S13 Ep 630 Vault Mondays: Paul Heaton Working In Redhill and Struggling

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Vault episode time! In this episode we talk about Joe morphing into his Dad, Paul Heaton working in Redhill, David struggling with Vodafone and a shit...

S13 Ep 629 Listeners Mailbag: Armando and A Portable Ashtray

06 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we read messages about a Crunch Crunch opportunity with Armando Iannucci, appropriate farts, a portable ashtray user, Fuck The Suits, Laure...

S13 Ep 628: Mersea Island vs Wild Camping

05 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a quick chat about helping out around the house more, Joe wants to talk to David about the TV crime documentary he watched last night, which was...

S12 Ep 627: All-Inclusive Holidays and Whispering

04 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s considering an all-inclusive summer holiday for him and his family this year. But he’s really not too sure about it and wants to get Joe’...

S12 Ep 626: Volunteering and Being A Prat

03 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s starting some volunteering work which involves a bit of running, so he tells David about that. He’s also wondering if a friend of his thinks...

S12 Ep 625 Vault Mondays: Guest - Goldie

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

That’s right, it’s a special guest vault episode - Goldie joins David and Joe to chat about Buckingham Palace's gravel and banana cake. First pos...

S12 Ep 624 Listener’s Mailbag: Gardeners And Magicians

30 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Amongst this weeks messages, we hear from a happy gardener in The Isle of Man, a magician at a speed-awareness course, send a birthday message to a Sw...

S12 Ep 623: David’s Clapham Wood Challenge

29 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Following Joe’s failed attempt to ride Hyperia at Thorpe Park, David wants to convince Joe that visiting haunted woods and castles are just as scary...

S12 Ep 622: The Rotten Cherry

28 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In the previous episode, David and Joe promised you an extra ‘cherry-on-top’ for their Thorpe Park Hyperia Roller Coaster ride debrief. So here it...

S12 Ep 621: Thorpe Park Debrief

27 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The day of Joe’s long awaited trip to Thorpe Park has finally arrived and he's made his way there to ride the dreaded Hyperia - Britain’s tallest ...

S12 Ep 620 Vault Mondays: A Day In The Life Of Polperro Joe

26 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time to revisit another old Chatabix episode. And in this one, as Joe lived in Polperro for 4 months, he tells David about his perfect day ther...

S12 Ep 619 Listener’s Mailbag: A Letter From Oz and Pot Smokers

23 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Mailbag time! And Joe kicks off the show with a very special letter from a Chatabix listener in Australia about Ronnie Barker. That’s followe...

S12 Ep 618: TV Joe’s Straight Road Of Fibs Quiz

22 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s about that time for some more TV Joe - and for this episode he’s brought a brand new quiz with him. Essentially, it’s a copy of the Bridge ...

S12 Ep 617: David At The Gym and The Gladiators

21 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After joining the gym a while back, David’s finally started using it and Joe wants to know how he’s getting on. As you might expect, David’s a l...

S12 Ep 616: The Countdown Set and Listing Celebrity Sightings

20 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s still in Manchester, filming for Cats Does Countdown. So in this episode, David tries to get Joe to tell him about the famous Countdown set an...

S12 Ep 615 Vault Mondays: In The Army Now and No Pubes

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A golden oldie from the archives - David and Joe chat about Status Quo's In The Army Now and then David tells Joe about a girl he fell in love with at...

S12 Ep 614: Saying Hi To Colin Jackson

15 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s been filming in Manchester for the past few days and with so much going on there, he wants to use today’s episode to tell David everything t...

S12 Ep 613: Charlie Fish

14 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David bough £55 of fish from a door-to-door salesman last night. And even though he found the fella very trustworthy and also took his telephone numb...

S12 Ep 612: Joe on the Chris Moyles Show

13 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a couple of frustrating minutes texting about things they can’t talk about on the pod, David asks Joe about his recent appearance on the Chris...

S12 Ep 611 Vault Mondays: Ben Rufus Green and an old copy of Playboy

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Chata-vaults time! And apologies in advance as the audio is pretty ropey on this one. Friend of the pod Ben Rufus Green pops on and chats about his ne...

S12 Ep 610: Giving Up Five-A-Side and His & Hers Training

08 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a tough evening at his five-a-side footie match last night, Joe’s again wondering if it’s time to hang up his boots. Is it all now too physi...

S12 Ep 609: Feeling Low and Doing Scouse Accents

07 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s in a bit of a mood this morning and feeling pretty low. So to cheer him up, Joe tells him about the great time he had recently at a Comic Re...

S12 Ep 608: Wheel Of Fortune

06 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After an indecisive start to the show, David and Joe invent a ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ type game to select a topic to talk about. David then comes up wi...

S12 Ep 607 Vault Mondays: Recording Our Advert For Our Patreon

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's another episode dug out from our extensive archives. And in this one, we try and record our advert for our Patreon and we get to know our new hor...

NATALIE PALAMIDES - ADVERT ADVERT ADVERT

01 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Weer - SoHo Theatre Walthamstow She is the funniest person. May 2nd - 10th 8pm https://sohotheatre.com/events/natalie-palamides-weer-3/ Lear...

S12 Ep 606: Feeling Great and More MMUs

01 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s in a brilliant mood this morning (ie. he’s had 2 double expressos), which slightly wrong-foots Joe to begin with. He’s just been doing s...

S12 Ep 605: David’s Birthday and Buying Clothes

30 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It was David’s 51st Birthday recently, so Joe kicks things off by finding out what he got up to and what presents he was given. It turns out that on...

S12 Ep 604: Joe’s MMU Go-Karting

29 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s just completed his most recent Mystery Meet Up, which was an evening of Go-Kart racing. So David digs in to find out what Joe thought of it an...

S12 Ep 603 Vault Mondays: The Bathroom and Bong Bong The Cow

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Time for another episode from our Chata-vaults. In this one, we chat about Joe's problem with my toilet, play Through The Keyhole, Honk The Mole and B...

S12 Ep 602 Listener’s Mailbag: Chatabiscuit Jingles and Ronnie Barker’s Letter

25 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Digging deep into the Chatabix mailbag, this week we read messages about a pre-planned bollock quip, a couple of celebrity interactions, some theme tu...

S12 Ep 601: A Curry Quiz and Farting Masseuses

24 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s been away visiting family and stayed in a triangular-shaped AirBnB last night, so he kicks off the show by explaining that all to Joe. Their...

S12 Ep 600: David’s Bad B&Q Attitude

23 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s realised he takes on a strange persona whenever he’s in a DIY shop or garden centre, which is something his wife Naomi picked up on recent...

S12 Ep 599: Joe’s Tennis Court Opening

22 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe was recently invited to host the opening of some new tennis courts near to where he lives - and with his bold new ‘helping out in the community’...

S12 Ep 598 Vault Monday’s: The Talent Agency Pilot

21 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this old episode from the archives, we couldn't record a Chatabix on that morning - so thought we'd upload a pilot of a new podcast idea. First po...

S12 Ep 597 Listener’s Mailbag: Happy Happy Girl and Beach Huts

18 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On this week's show, we read emails about getting told off as an adult, a paid for cover version of Happy Happy Girl, a secret tunnel under Gillingham...

S12 Ep 596: Joe In Paris and 50s Angst

17 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s convinced he’s already told David about his 50th birthday trip to Paris - but David’s not sure he’s heard the whole story and definitely...

S12 Ep 595: Graffiti and Stan Laurel’s House

16 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the third part of David’s holiday tales trilogy. But before that, Joe has a bit of a moan about seeing someone graffitiing in Brighton the pr...

S12 Ep 594: Cheddar Gorge and Longleat Safari Park

15 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Following David’s recent tales from the Lake District, in this episode he tells Joe about more family trips to Cheddar Gorge in Somerset - with stor...

S12 Ep 593 Vault Monday’s: Canal Thursdays #1

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Well, this is a very important episode from the Chata-vaults - the very first Canal Thursdays. And what better way to kick things off than by choosing...

S12 Ep 592 Listener’s Mailbag: Galaxy Pugs and Joe Singing

11 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s slightly shorter but oh so sweet Mailbag show, David and Joe read messages about a very interesting shell grotto, the return of old pub j...

S12 Ep 591: A Visit to Beatrix Potter’s House

10 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s recent family holiday included a trip to the Lake District, which he totally fell in love with. Whist there they visited the former home of ...

S12 Ep 590 Surprise Guest: Keith Brymer Jones - host of The Great Pottery Throw Down

09 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s done it again and lined up another brilliant surprise guest for David. But this time, we’re so excited to have this person on the show that ...

S12 Ep 589: The Return of Andy Goldstein

08 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Andy Goldstein is back! And it’s been quite a while since David and Joe last spoke to him, so there’s plenty for them to catch up on. Amongst all ...

S12 Ep 588 Vault Mondays: The Weatherperson Auditions

07 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Monday means it's Vault time! And in this one, we audition a few Chatabiscuits for the role of a Weatherperson. First posted on 30 April 2021 FOR ALL...

S12 Ep 587 Listener’s Mailbag: The Beach Dildo and Breath Coaching

04 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a slightly embarrassing chat about calling into radio shows and writing letters to podcasts, David and Joe read messages about a dildo on a beac...

S12 Ep 586: Volunteering and Mother's Day Balloons

03 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In further ‘just turned 50’ revelations, Joe’s decided he wants to start volunteering to help out in the community and give little more back. So...

S12 Ep 585: Vigilante Joe and A Pottery Visit

02 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, Joe reveals to David his new-found attitude to fighting crime and tackling antisocial behaviour. Since turning 50, he’s decided eno...

S12 Ep 584: Being 50 and Speaking French

01 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the first time that the guys have spoken since Joe’s 50th Birthday. So David’s keen to hear how Joe’s feeling about reaching his first ce...

S12 Ep 583 Vault Mondays: Incredibly Tired and Rusty Lee

31 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this old episode, we chat about not wanting to do the podcast, audio issues, Cilla Black, when the podcast grows, recording in a hotel and Rusty Le...

S12 Ep 582 Listener’s Mailbag: Litter Blogs & Haunted Beds

28 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Delving into the Mailbag one again, David and Joe read messages about celebrity neighbours, an lockdown anti-littering blog, David’s Zoom song, more...

S12 Ep 581: Joe’s 50th Birthday - Part 2

27 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time for Part 2 of Joe’s 50th Birthday celebrations. So you can expect plenty more wonderful treats from David and TV Joe’s ‘Audio Bags’...

S12 Ep 580: Joe’s 50th Birthday - Part 1

26 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s been a long old run up, but it’s finally Joe’s 50th Birthday and to celebrate, David and TV Joe have something very special planned for him...

S12 Ep 579: Barney The Dog and The Pod Date Game

25 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s looking after his friend’s dog Barney, so kicks off today’s show by introducing him to David - and they all get on wonderfully. Then, afte...

S12 Ep 578 Vault Mondays: Our Female Versions and Boxing

24 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

For this week's vault show, it’s right back to episode four of the pod. We chat about realising that we're bantering, middle names, our female versi...

S12 Ep 577 Listener’s Mailbag: Quips Quips Quips

21 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s Mailbag (now with added sound effects) has messages about after-pod debriefs, some Judy Dench and Noel Edmonds trivia, a very experienced ga...

S12 Ep 576: Ideas Cards and The Americana Sessions

20 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Picking up from yesterday’s cliffhanger, David and Joe are now gonna play their ‘Idea Cards Game’ - where they randomly pick a conversation topi...

S12 Ep 575: The Podmasters Quiz

19 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Joe’s come up with a game called Podmasters, where the contestant is played up to 10 seconds from a top 50 iTunes Comedy Chart show and has to guess...

S12 Ep 574: Joe’s Baking Course

18 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

David’s got a snotty cold so doesn’t have much to offer today. But thankfully, Joe went on a baking course over the weekend, which Petra had bough...

S12 Ep 573 Vault Mondays: Learning The Game Of Cricket and Personal Trainers

17 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this 2022 episode from our archives, we talk about personal trainers, clever lightbulbs and cricket. Plus, the very moment that Canal Thursdays was...

S12 Ep 572: Listener's Mailbag - Top 50 Eps & Pyramind

14 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s selection of emails from our lovely listeners, there messages about someone’s top 50 episodes of Chatabix, a joke about a dog, a remind...

S12 Ep 571: Joe’s MMU Report Card

13 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

As talked about recently on the pod, Joe has organised the latest activity for his Mystery Meet Up mates - which is indoor rock climbing at their loca...

S12 Ep 570: More Pottery Throw Down

12 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After putting off watching it for a while, Joe has just discover the joys of The Great Pottery Throw Down. So, re-invigorated by this news, David trie...

S12 Ep 569: Walking vs Rock Climbing

11 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

To kick things off, David starts to recount a walk he went on recently from Bolt Head to South Sands. But try as he might to be enthusiastic with his ...

S12 Ep 568 Vault Mondays: Performance Nerves and Nana Pud Pud

10 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s vault time again! And in this one, we talk about the same old bollocks again. Apologies. First posted on 23rd November 2021 FOR ALL THINGS CHAT...

S12 Ep 567 Listener’s Mailbag: The Chanctonbury Ring & Celebrity Stories

07 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we’ve a couple of emails from gameshow winners, a suggestion of a haunted place for Joe to visit, tales of serving fish and chips to a ro...

S12 Ep 566: Well Done Me

06 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, David has two ideas that he hopes will make for a great episode. Firstly he reads an email from a listener who, off the back of som...

S12 Ep 565: Surprise Guest Time

05 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s time to wheel out the spiny chair again and for one of our hosts to get all nervous with anticipation. This time it’s David in the hot seat, ...

S12 Ep 564: Calling The Police and A Pod Story Game

04 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode is a bit of a Crimewatch special. Joe explains why he recently had to call the Police, David researches some tourist scams and pickp...

S12 Ep 563 Vault Mondays: Happy Happy Girl - The Complete Works

03 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Another episode straight from the Chatabix vaults and in this one, a listener sends us a quite remarkable email. First posted on 7th October 2022 FOR ...